Of Parks and Elephants and other Useless Buildings

They say elephants never forget. Elephants are the largest mammals on land, have tusks and a characteristic trunk. Enough about elephants. Lets move onto parks.

Though I try not to write about anything related to politics this one borders more in the realm of stupidity than politics so I will give it a go.  A park, recently inaugurated in Noida, has been in the news(since it seems to have altered life as we know it), and I couldn’t have cared less if the park wasn’t in Noida( thats where I’m from) or if it wasn’t filled with statues of elephants among other things.

While some have debated whether it cost 685 crores or it was a waste of 700 crores I really don’t care too much about that. Just that any amount of money to be spent on something like this defies logic. And as in the case of any logic defying situation, we, at W&M are here to provide clarity on the topic.

Ironically, (ironically this might not be the correct use of irony), a conversation with another friend, Katy Jane( names have been changed as usual to protect our fans from other fans)  of mine from school (also in Noida) led me to write this for the general public.  And though the park won’t be open to visitors while I visit Noida, it hasn’t really dampened my spirit to dampen the statues the next chance I get ( u may send in your contributions- gallons of water, beer, fruit juice, videos of flowing water, etc).

Now the task of explaining how this disaster could have happened, and a monument of this proportion could come into existence is difficult to convey simply in words. So after careful analysis our experts at W&M were able to put together this simplified mechanism which can be seen below. On closer observation you would be able to see that a lot of retarded things that happen in this country follow a similar path to completion..So here it is..Marvel in its simplicity..

Wig update:

While I am not too keen on writing of politics, I should contribute my two paisa to this post. And if you are actually worried about politics, I got a friend who is all incorrect about it – check this out. So, coming back to this elephantic talk, I think there is just too much money being wasted on useless stuff – thereby making us waste more time on writing on these useless stuff, and making you waste time reading all this useless stuff (although the last point I/we gain evil pleasure from). Like for instance, this:

Yes, this building in this picture was to be the new Secretariat-come-StateAssembly for Tamil Nadu, and this beautiful building is in Singaara Chennai (which is where I come from). Darn it Muscles, now both of us have had to reveal our identities. So this one was built by the old government, then it was shelved the day the new government came into power. And perhaps five years from now it would have been put into use. But thanks to a useless guy giving a darn about taxpayer’s money putting up a public interest litigation, the government decided to “use” that building by converting it into a multi speciality hospital. How? By blowing up another ~200 crore rupees (to make the building hospital-able). It just blows my brains out at times.

And all that I can think of looking at these “monumental” waste of money, is the following equation (and yes, unlike the other co-founder to this “epic blog/organization”, I am good with math):

So, take your time, think well, and vote for us tomorrow in the local body elections. No free biriyani, no money for votes, just more useless posts. And no, we aren’t contesting.

P.S.: This post has been dedicated to our good friend and colleague Roonam Pajak (name changed to protect her identity).

Too much too handle too soon-2

this goes out to the potheads..please don’t ask me to explain this one…

Too little too late-1

Now warming up to posting some more nonsense.. but hey it’s not like you missed it or anything..inspired by this facebook page called poda moka naye… here is our own rubbish

Dedicated to W&M

With the launching of W&M 2.0 we would like to dedicate this song to Wigs and Muscle. This poem goes out to all W&M fans whichever loony bin they are currently in.

They say this blog is nonsensical,

and reeks of filth and crap;

and that they liked us on facebook too

was because of a devious trap.

When there’s so much news to spread around

and issues important are abound,

we don’t really seem to care

whatever is rubbish you’l find it here.

Our language is poor

and spellings are off,

our jokes are hackneyed

and our designer’s an oaf.

For cheap publicity to any level we’ll stoop

for an audience of a million nincompoops.

So on this highly poetic note

We put this up on popular vote

By the stupid and for the stupider

forever remains our stance

And we hope you still endure

our blog posts sans substance.

The journey

This is not just another post. This is history being re-written. Speaking of history, I have always been into changing history. Like the time in class eight, when I wrote in my history exam paper that the cold war was called so because it was fought during winter in cold Siberian deserts. But this isn’t that kind of history. Or any kind of history at all. It is the kind of history that everyone reads: young/old, man/woman/transgender (keeping in line with the Punjab government), normally abled/differently abled, immigrants/residents, DJs/those who aren’t DJs, Air pilots/those who don’t fly planes, and just everyone. The kind of history that everyone was looking for. The kind of history that would . . . hang on, where was I?

You see, history and I don’t get along too well. It tried to kill me twice and succeeded once. But as we all know, history is dead and I am alive. So, now you tell me who’s the boss of who?

This day (technically yesterday, but there was a real stupid post on transformers – I mean, seriously – I have no words) is the day we commemorate the joining of our fiftieth facebook page fan. Now I haven’t spent enough time to go check who that lucky 50th fan was, but let me tell you one important piece of advise in management mister-mysterious-fiftieth-fan:

In the words of Michael Scott, “My philosophy is basically this: And this is something I live by. I always have; and I always will. Don’t ever … for any reason … do anything … to anyone … for any reason … ever … no matter what … no matter where …  or who or whom you are with … or where you are going … or where you’ve been … ever .. for any reason whatsoever…”

<end of post>

P.S.: To commemorate the 50 fans to our facebook fan page, we’re introducing the first golden jubilee logo:

Well, now that that’s taken care of, let’s open a Google+ fan page. I’m back, bitches! :D       Muscles’ update: Palas 1 (+1) to that


and now introducing the second golden jubilee logo

What’s more evil?

They say old is gold. In this case I think its more than that. After watching these transformers movies that have been thrust in our faces from time to time I urge you all to remember the good times. And for that you just need to remind yourselves of the real Transformers. So decide for yourselves : What’s more evil? The decepticons from the movie or the ones from the cartoon… You be the judge..and here’s something to give you a nudge in the right direction.

 

The Ultimate blog

People have been wondering, since the dawn of civilization, what is the ultimate answer. But for that one must know the ultimate question. And with our intense research on the internet there seems to be only one question that seems to be currently eating away at the brains of everyone. So as usual it is our self authorized responsibility to end this ultimate dilemma. So here it is:


And our take on the ultimate answer ( Achtung!! Beware of brain damage)

 

Yeah we just love the Simpsons. We hope they sue us for plagiarism just so we could interact with them (or we could join their fan club maybe but then what makes us different?)

Fantastick comics: Cliche

In continuation of the annoying stick figures that we have been subjecting you to :

For Simple Muscles

Well today is Father’s day and this seemed like a great way to honor the person known as Simple Muscles( not to mention a cheap and inexpensive way. As the son of a chartered accountant it seems only logical to strive to invest money in mutual funds and not in emotions :) )

You might see that this is not a usual WAM post. This is because this post goes out to promote my Dad’s blog instead of this one. This will probably serve as a motivation for him to actually write something so that I could offer him some cheap publicity much like we offer ourselves. Only seems fair to motivate the person who motivates you.

Since this is mostly about father’s day I would as usual like to offer my opinion on the subject. A father is basically a person who has known you for as many years as your age and is the default friend you start off with. Also the father is the leader of the Mutual Admiration Society (MAS) of which one becomes an active member to acknowledge each other’s greatness before this obvious fact becomes common knowledge to other people. Where other friends will become jealous of you when you achieve something, your father will not only be happy for you but also shamelessly try to claim sole credit for the achievement ( A trick  known in our MAS as the Ferrari joke- more such information would be found on the blog of Simple Muscles)

So to sum it up fathers basically prepare you for life by being a knowledgeable friend who is mature enough to show you the right thing to do and immature enough to indulge in a dangerous game of indoor house cricket (though in case of accidental damages he will probably hide the bat and then pretend that he wasn’t involved.)

Hope we see some posts by simple muscles soon.

How to not waste bad stick figure drawings

As per tradition, I am putting this one up without apology (or shame).

 

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