2013 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 480 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 8 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Running east-bound

Research is something that both wigs and muscles of wigsandmuscles embrace. All forms of it: the good, the bad and the ugly. We often recommend the Ig Nobels, or how you could write consistently boring scientific articles (Sand-Jensen, 2009).

Beyond our quirks, wishes and likes, there has always been one big fascination: that be the class of classy research that stands a whole class apart. Which rises to great heights, and instantly excites anyone (that’s what she said). Take our previous post for example, where we elaborately discuss to what lengths research has gone. An important aspect to take note of is the geographic location of such emenating research: Japan, Australia and Great Britan often stand in tight competition. However, Australia outshines its close competitors. Here are some examples of why Australia is shining:

  • John Michael Keogh’s wheel, having been awarded the Innovation Patent #2001100012 for describing a circular transportation fecilitation device.
  • Perceived attractiveness of penis length to women based on computer generated manequins. Pioneering research at the Australian National University.
  • This study on disappearing teaspoons in Australia.

Now, having given enough proof, and after years of joking and jesting about them, we have stumbled upon a difficult but not necessarily “sad”. Our very own muscles is heading to the kangaroo-land in a day, forcing us to shift our world headquarters and make it truly international. On behalf of every strand of folicle there is in this Wig (which has regrown btw), I wish you a bon voyage!! Go kill some prostate cancer! Godspeed muscles, godspeed.

Some wood, please

Both muscles and I are hardcore fans of science. All forms of it: be it amateur, self-indulgent, experienced or even nasty. So while we applaud the noble nobel and watch in amazement at the Ig-Nobels, we do ponder at the efforts of several who startle us with their sheer genius. Take this for example, a comprehensive study on fellatio prolonging copulation time in fruit bats. Needless to say, I did not feel the excitation to read further, despite the free-full-text exposure made by both PLOS-One and PubMedCentral (you should try out their new Pubreader btw – its really good).

But something else aroused our curiosity today, and with dampened spirits, we got discussing about another article. It deals with the perception of male attractiveness by some women in Australia and the correlation to the size of  the penis. Yes, Penis. And this paper was in the PNAS, so don’t get confused between the two. So we had read the abstract, and it led to a rather long discussion. I now present on to you, the “full length” of it:

W: Oh and dude, I found an article which was fifty thousand times worse than the bat blowjob paper.

M: Really? What, bats in a devil’s three-way?

W: No, this one’s about a correation between penis size and male attractiveness. And here’s how did they did it: they simulated male manequins on computers using a 3d generation software, projected them on a wall, had women of various age groups rate the attractiveness, and then they correlated attractiveness to penis size.

M: So did they do a double blind?

W: No, but they published it here: http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2013/04/03/1219361110.

M: this got published in PNAS? 😮 They’re total d**ks. Oh wait… right!

M: Good by Japan… Hello Australia! (In line with our great appreciation of Japanese research to venture out into similar (what we feel) useless research)

W: Yes, there’s a stiff competition.

M: Yeah..and it gets harder every day! So  does the paper cum to a conclusion?

W: Yes, but sooner than later. Rather premature, I must admit!

W: Oh wait, they even have supplemental material.

M: So they were premature, even on supplements.

W: Yup, despite the supplements, I don’t think they penetrated deep enough into the subject.

M: Well I think they discussed it in length and must have wanted to put the whole thing behind. But putting it in PNAs is just blowing the whole thing out of proportion.

W: Now it seems more like they are soliciting the stuff to Canada. The author who came first in the paper has shifted across the globe.

M: Maybe he was looking for a better position. Or this wasnt really his thrust area.

W: I never thought P’NaS would get so desperate to put their stuff into any void space in research.

M: Yes this would probably help him to get on top of things now.

W: But looking at the paper, it seemed to me like the women were the ones on top.

M: That seems hard to swallow.

… and with that we ended our review of the links between Australian research, penis length (simulated) and their attractiveness to women.

P.S.: I recently upgraded to the google hangout experience on gmail. And it rather sucks when we need to copy conversations for recreational purposes such as this.

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2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,300 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Cheap advertising


Writers’ block, ironically, is something about which a lot has been written already. Many people say that the fastest way to overcome it is by writing whatever comes to mind. My problem, unfortunately, is not as easily solvable. I usually land in, what is, the lazy writers block, where it is more of being lazy than anything else that is the major barrier; I always have stuff to write about (a lot of stuff shouldn’t be written about is another barrier to my writing).

My strategy to get out of the block is simple: Start with a joke. Not a unique solution but the trick lies in making the joke a bad one. The idea behind this is simple… a good joke builds up expectation of the reader and then it’s a downhill journey from there, a bad joke on the other hand shows that what follows can’t possibly be worse (but we have shocked ourselves many times by achieving this very feat). But in any case… here it goes… I begin… with a bad joke.

(Btw do check out the facebook page Writers’ block)

The Bad Joke:

Q. If you were in a jungle by yourself and a gorilla charged you, what would you do?

A. Pay him.

Speaking of gorillas, our attention was brought to this advertisement and we were asked to review it (seems we are being taken as serious bloggers now). We shall now shamelessly (and bravely) do that.  While the commercial does show its product (plywood) and its qualities (superman like strength) in the best possible light, what is more admirable is that it also warns people of the hazards of forgetting birthdays and anniversaries of their wives. The advertisement shows a man being protected from a charging gorilla, by the woodwork, door and cupboard all made of the advertised plywood. This gorilla actually turns out to be his wife who is visibly angry at the husband for forgetting her birthday (or anniversary. I can’t recall). While comparing the angry woman to a gorilla might seem over-the-top to some, it isn’t completely inaccurate. We have all seen people, “go bananas” in similar situations. A wise man has said that the best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. This advertisement seems to show how that could work. Saying anything more on this matter could be injurious to our health… (Specially wigs in the nearer future).

New belt

Howdy ho!

Technology seems to be growing quite fast. Since Google is something we respect, and they’ve moved so much forward, we at wigsandmuscles™ have decided to keep pace. We now introduce a whole new upgrade in our website: the belly jean.

Now, we have loaded in a whole new bunch of features that every dying fan of wigsandmuscles wishes to cherish! We’ve spruced up the header, changed a few colours around, incorporated a jar of beans wearing a pair of jeans and a wig, all for your viewing pleasure. Yes, I mean it. 😛

And to make sure you aren’t devoid of our glorious content, we have all the posts un-altered. And for the frantic facebook link searchers, we’re working on sprucing up our homepage and will shoot it out in the near future.

We have also fixed some internal bugs on this upgrade. Now your neural cells will die at only half the rate, owing to the soothing grey colour of the font in a white background. Also, we have statistically shown this using our 87-odd growing fanfare! Proof here: https://www.facebook.com/wigsandmuscles.

Keep reading. And spread the word. Spread the pain. Get more fans. Until we hit the ‘near future’, …

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Congrats Wigs

I don’t know how many good men we will lose this way… In any case..hearty congratulations to Wigs. As Wigs is now a research fellow with a ring only one thing comes to mind– the fellowship of the ring….

“Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky.
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all,
One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all,
and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.”

-JRR Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
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