How to make your “To kill ” List


Most people ask us what is the best way to make a list of people to kill.  A lot of times these queries are really stupid (for example: should we even do this?) and deserve our ridicule which we bestow on them in abundance. But we are met with intelectual doubts also (for example: how to arrange the names of the soon to be desceased on the list).

So it seems that it is worth our while(not like we are doing anything important with our time anyway…i mean cancer research is’nt saving the world any time soon) to pen down our advice in electronic ink.

  • If you decide to put any world leader on the list,it is ideal to place him 2 or 3 places above or below the mean of the number of people on the list. This allows enough time for him to be taken care off by someone else.Saves on the labour. NOTE: Shoes thrown at political leaders do not undergo nuclear fission.Neither do they spit acid or chemical weapons. Most of the times they arnt even well directed. Hence dont get into the media hype, try something better.
  • If you are an English Butler it is the requirement of the plot for you to dispose of ur master.
  • While arranging people on the list take care that males and females occur alternatively so as not to disturb the demography  while you go about ur “chores” .
  • Anyone above u in the company who is on ur list should be on the top.That makes economic sense so that you can take the benefits of a better position in the company for a longer time before ur eventual hanging should u be sloppy enough to not plan it well (in which case u would justify ur superior for givin u a hard time for being an idiot).
  • And yes, the people at the top of your list should be those who already have you on their list.

Happy hunting!

Wigs: I really don’t know where this post came from! Muscles is just losing it these days. God save him, and this blog!

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