Shirking Work- A Guide by the experts


Many a times people ask us  ” hey you guys. Why are you guys so  jobless all the time ? ” . As we have come to realize, they are actually trying to figure out not “Why” but “How” we stay so jobless all the time( people can be quiet envious of us in that respect). So this time, since we are celebrating the end of a decade we plan to give back to society by finally disclosing our secret to “Shirking Work”.

Much to the disappointment of most we would like to clarify that being jobless isn’t easy. It requires hard work, planning and dedication to be jobless(no i am not being ironical). Some people do have the natural talent of staying jobless but other less gifted souls need to work hard at it. It was fairly recent that we actually took an exam and still managed to stay jobless before and after taking it.

We thus feel it is a moral responsibility for us to help out those who lack this natural talent.

It is critical to understand first that even after great planning and effort one can always be forced out of the state of joblessness very quickly and thus one has to be ready to face disappointment. It is also important to firstly define joblessness and to clearly state that joblessness has nothing to do with employment(or the lack of it). Even people with jobs can be found enjoying joblessness( for e.g. your subordinates, your boss) even though they seem to be holding important responsibilities.

It was thus very important to us to find a common and a fool-proof way for our fans(now I’m being ironical) to attain the jobless state every-time they try. And to figure out such a way we did an intense study of the sciences (without much effort as always.. i mean that is the whole point). We are happy to report the 100% BONAFIDE METHOD to not do any work below:

Step 1: Find a Rock of a reasonable weight(20-40kgs would be ideal)

Step 2: Lift the rock over your head. Be careful !!!

Step 3:Walk forward in a straight path for as long as you can.

Thats it!!

And it’s really easy to test the accuracy of this method. Its simple physics.

We all know that Doing Work is equal to the dot product of force and displacement.

W= F.S

=> W= FS cosine(angle)

And its obvious that the angle here is 90 degrees.

So the work you have done is equal to(W)= F*S*Cos(90)= 0

So that proves it physically and mathematically.

Also if you think this sucks then think again. Only if you are completely jobless will you attempt this method. Hence doing this makes you completely jobless( does it make sense now ?)

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