Here at Wig’s and Muscles’ we are committed to passing of absolute garbage for blog posts. But we have to admit that we are losing our fan base( mostly because of the recent success in electroshock therapies). This situation became increasingly worse after we actually restarted our blog this month( we had more hits when we didn’t update) .
All that has nothing to do with this though. I just felt as a proud biologist we should share our love for biological beings. So here we present some information about horticulture. We also hope that this post will help us in turning over a new leaf( cheap horticulture joke)
Wikipedia( read: awesome and undisputed source of all useful and useless facts) defines horticulture as follows
Horticulture is the industry and science of plant cultivation including the process of preparing soil for the planting of seeds, tubers, or cuttings.
Well before you start of the highly rewarding practice of growing grass and plants we hope you will take note of some basic things.
Firstly, plants need nutrients and water. One of the most important ones is fixed nitrogen(i.e nitrogen in an available form: do not try to grow plants by adding a teaspoon of liquid nitrogen into the pot)
So once you do decide to grow acres of grass, trees and plants do establish a good and steady supply of nitrogen , urea for example.
Ideally you could setup a system to collect the pee from a lot of people everyday and after sufficient treatment use it to water vast stretches of grass and plants that you want to grow.
Now I know what you guys must be thinking. How are you supposed to be able to collect enough pee everyday to support all your horticultural endeavors.
As usual we have a ready solution which we have seen to be highly successful. All you need to do is to start an establishment where you can constantly increase the number of people everyday and also sustain its own economy so that you can easily harvest the people for that all important pee everyday.
So here’s what to do. You can create a place where you offer something people really want, maybe something like an engineering college where you can give all sorts of degrees. Open enough places to eat and enough place to expand every year. Integrate all the urinals into a common treatment plant. Once all this is done all you have to do is keep advertising and keep increasing your intake every year. That’s it. It’s that simple. You will have enough money for spreading out in no time and plant grass as far the eye can possibly see. So now that you have learned this just spray your fields with “treated” water and give the grass a chance to grow.
For more detailed tips of how to go about opening an engineering college please feel free to visit Wig’s personal blog( Note to wigs:<Wig’s insert link here..free publicity stunt for your blog>)