Thoughts Of A Profound Retard!


So I gave a lot of serious thought to what this post should be about before I realised that I was at WnM where serious thoughts obviously are worth nothing.  Oh and before I begin, as much as the title suggests that this post is being written by the famous Anon, I would like to leak out my identity. I am Katy Jane – name changed by muscle for apparently “protecting their fans from other fans” but I really know this is just another one of his stints at cheap publicity. Coz :-

(a)  I’m not a fan..in fact I wasn’t even a regular till I read the blog and found a name, strikingly similar to mine,  being used as a reason for the particular post.  (I would like to believe I have nothing to do with whatever is going on here)

(b)  WHAT “other” fans??!! (jeez! Get a life!)

Anyway, if there’s one thing I’m not, at least I try not to be, is being rude. So quickly then, I would like to thank muscle and wigs also for letting me post something here (although I do not know wigs, but if anyone was demented enough to co found something with muscle…well then my sympathies!)

For some reason I keep wanting to call it a guest lecture (in my head). Probably it’s because I’m freshly out of college which also is confusing coz we never had any guest lectures. No. Same old/young ugly professors. Well two of them were actually good looking and I mean “gooood” lookin’. They kinda made up for the rest of them. One of them, I couldn’t even talk to half the time. He’d be like: “hey katy..how’s it going?” (this name’s growing on me..yikes!) and I’d be like: “um umm yeah um…bazooka!” Madness!!

So as of now this stays untitled. Probably by the end of this post we’d know what this was about. For all you know WnM could make a contest out of it. In fact, I think they will and in that case I don’t have to rack my brains over this!

Now, I will focus on the work at hand and write something non sensical.  Partly because I can’t really think of anything in particular to talk about and mainly because there’s a certain level of non sense these guys have achieved over a considerable period of time and I do not want to disappoint them.

I definitely want to talk about something interesting. But you see I have been at home for a while now and when that happens, basically your interests temporarily (hopefully!) are based around – as I like to call it- “the domestic setup”. So there’s television, thank heavens a Wi Fi connection, a bed to crash on at anytime of the day, a loaded refrigerator, a kitchen (for those who have culinary skills…but you wanna be careful about that…spending more time than is required in kitchen, changes “what do you wanna have for dinner” to “what are you cooking for dinner” TRUE STORY!) continuing with the list… oh no, that IS the list.

Of all the items mentioned, what irks me most is the television. I wish they had called it the “moron box” then so that now we could call it the “idiot box”. If you are thinking – whaaaat?? I would like to explain. You see according to the classification of IQ levels, anything below 70 is considered retardation. And because the people who invented such classifications had nothing better to do with their life and time, they further classified retardation into the following.

50-69 Moron
 20-49 Imbecile
below 20 Idiot

Obviously our crazy society (and by that I do not mean the ones who actually are specially abled..I have more respect for those, than who pretend to be sane and are not!) used and abused these terms so that the classifiers had to re classify it into mild, moderate, severe and profound (not as catchy.. hence prevention of the abuse)

[@muscle: nice geeky touch na?]

So anyway, point is, there’s nothing beyond an idiot. We could call it the “profoundly retard box” but then that’s just too long.

Stuff on tv sucks and how! Move over formula movies coz now we have formula soaps/sitcoms.

One / two families + evil mom / daughter-in-law in either or better still both families+ one marriage connecting the two families (in case of one family a new entrant)+ one do-gooder in either/both families+ more evil people+ scheming and plotting+ one sad tragic death (usually of the do-gooder)+ one/multiple surgeries+ one comeback+ more scheming and plotting+ lots of background music/drum rolls/copied or modified songs  = DECENT TRP SHOW

Wanna make it better? Add a twenty year leap and repeat above algorithm.

Wanna make it into a reality show? Replace families with groups of non related people. Beep out the profanities. Follow the same/similar algorithm and oh oh shoot in documentary mode. Tada!

If things continue like this pretty soon we could use these for third degree torture. Oh and I don’t mean by showing them these soaps again and again but getting the convicts hooked on to them and then just when the evil aunt/uncle/gardener/dog is about to be exposed…we stop streaming! And will they get hooked you ask? Of course they will…everybody needs entertainment. It doesn’t matter what kind. Just like this blog. They want publicity. Good/bad/ugly. Do they care? No. Of course not.

With that I will end this torture too.  It was lovely being here. Thanks for the valid trespassing license. 😉

P.S: The title was suggested my muscle. sweet revenge. 😉

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