Tag Archives: pure evil

Some wood, please


Both muscles and I are hardcore fans of science. All forms of it: be it amateur, self-indulgent, experienced or even nasty. So while we applaud the noble nobel and watch in amazement at the Ig-Nobels, we do ponder at the efforts of several who startle us with their sheer genius. Take this for example, a comprehensive study on fellatio prolonging copulation time in fruit bats. Needless to say, I did not feel the excitation to read further, despite the free-full-text exposure made by both PLOS-One and PubMedCentral (you should try out their new Pubreader btw – its really good).

But something else aroused our curiosity today, and with dampened spirits, we got discussing about another article. It deals with the perception of male attractiveness by some women in Australia and the correlation to the size of  the penis. Yes, Penis. And this paper was in the PNAS, so don’t get confused between the two. So we had read the abstract, and it led to a rather long discussion. I now present on to you, the “full length” of it:

W: Oh and dude, I found an article which was fifty thousand times worse than the bat blowjob paper.

M: Really? What, bats in a devil’s three-way?

W: No, this one’s about a correation between penis size and male attractiveness. And here’s how did they did it: they simulated male manequins on computers using a 3d generation software, projected them on a wall, had women of various age groups rate the attractiveness, and then they correlated attractiveness to penis size.

M: So did they do a double blind?

W: No, but they published it here: http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2013/04/03/1219361110.

M: this got published in PNAS? 😮 They’re total d**ks. Oh wait… right!

M: Good by Japan… Hello Australia! (In line with our great appreciation of Japanese research to venture out into similar (what we feel) useless research)

W: Yes, there’s a stiff competition.

M: Yeah..and it gets harder every day! So  does the paper cum to a conclusion?

W: Yes, but sooner than later. Rather premature, I must admit!

W: Oh wait, they even have supplemental material.

M: So they were premature, even on supplements.

W: Yup, despite the supplements, I don’t think they penetrated deep enough into the subject.

M: Well I think they discussed it in length and must have wanted to put the whole thing behind. But putting it in PNAs is just blowing the whole thing out of proportion.

W: Now it seems more like they are soliciting the stuff to Canada. The author who came first in the paper has shifted across the globe.

M: Maybe he was looking for a better position. Or this wasnt really his thrust area.

W: I never thought P’NaS would get so desperate to put their stuff into any void space in research.

M: Yes this would probably help him to get on top of things now.

W: But looking at the paper, it seemed to me like the women were the ones on top.

M: That seems hard to swallow.

… and with that we ended our review of the links between Australian research, penis length (simulated) and their attractiveness to women.

P.S.: I recently upgraded to the google hangout experience on gmail. And it rather sucks when we need to copy conversations for recreational purposes such as this.

Tagged , , ,

6 worst inventions since the Industrial revolution


Well this post could be called a continuation of muscles’ 10 best inventions. Here’s my list of 6 worst inventions. I really don’t know if they date back to the dawn of time. I couldn’t think of more to make it a round number, and this post has been rotting in the drafts section for quite some time. These inventions really don’t have any priority over one another – just that they all are crappy in my opinion.

Toilet paper

If you’re an Indian and are accustomed to years of using a health faucet (a.k.a. a bum-washer), you’d loathe toilet papers! For one, they burn under certain conditions. Furthermore, when they go empty, this is what happens:

Picture courtesy extreme funny humor here. Here’s our next contestant.

Facebook quizzes

quiz

What the?! They’re everywhere! And yes, we’ve written enough about that earlier on this glorious blog-post. We even have our own celebrated wigsandmuscles quiz which you can take here. Thanks to my good friend Srivatsan (a.k.a. Malli) for taking this yet-another-ridiculable-quiz (see picture above). Moving on, here’s what’s next on the list:

Short messaging service

Never heard of it?! It’s also called SMS. The darned thing’s screwed English royally!

sms
The language some people use while texting (or SMSing for the uneducated) is so difficult to comprehend that it almost competes with our blog in inflicting pain. Good try – you’re nothing more than a mention up this site, short messaging service. Hmph. And next we have,

wigsandmuscles

wm-vig

Seriously, this is definitely one of the worst things that’s happened to mankind, and we’re magnanimous enough to admit it. Furthermore, this shows that we’re living in a small world – what shines in one blog-post sucks in another. Also proves things have their bright sides and dark halves. Moving on, the next worst invention being

Digital camera

One of man’s biggest vices. The digital camera era has almost put an end to printing photos, and we’ve long lost the happiness we get in looking into printed pictures. Plus (or palas, as Patna Shiva would put it), people just go mad buying cameras with high resolutions, and then go buying external hard-discs to store that data – what for is still a mystery. If you aren’t going to print pictures, why on earth do you need all those high-resolution images?! And here’s our celebrated celibrity entry:

Net trapping system for capturing a robber immediately

trap

Kuo Cheng Hsieh’s amazing system ought to make capturing bank-robbers cost effective. After all, who needs all those high-end closed circuit cameras and alarms?! And mind you, this dude got this patented in 2001, and also won an IgNobel award for it.

That’s about it for this list. And a gentle reminder to you, we’re up on facebook and you can become a fan of ours so that you’d be updated with new posts all the time! Happy reading!

    Tagged , , ,

    Finding morals


    Spoiler: post made using gtalk conversation.

    It’s been a while since we presented you evil crap. The post containing those youtube videos was just plain stupid (shows muscles’ lack of creativity). However, this one should compensate and help us have some fun. Here goes:

     

    Muscles: let me tell u about a story of the NDA
    Wigs: i’m listening.
    Muscles: the new cadets were being trained in arms
    so bullets were flying everywhere
    and they were shit scared
    so when the comander ordered them to charge ahead one of the realy scared one dint move
    after repeated shouting by the comander he still dint move
    so the comander took him aside
    and told him : son,remember this
    u are a soldier
    and there is one bullet in the enemies gun with ur name written on it
    the day that bullet is fired u will die
    Wigs: and . . .
    Muscles: yeah
    so he said so be brave and charge
    because ur invincible till that bullet is fired
    and that concluded the training for the day
    the next time the comander saw the cadet was in actual battle
    Wigs: dude you’re typing miserably slow today
    Muscles: yeah
    i know
    anyway
    Wigs: it’s okay. go on
    yeah
    Muscles: so in the battle field there was terrible automatic gun fire
    and bullets flying from all around
    and the comander yelled charge
    and everyone started charging except the same guy
    and the commander totaly pissed shouted at him
    what the fuck
    i told u about the bullet story
    why are u still scared
    so the cadet said :yeah i know all about that
    but i think the ones flying around my ears have To whom ever it may concern written on them
    ………..X……………………
    Wigs: okay, you just made that up. terribly lame.
    Muscles: what is the moral of the joke
    Wigs: oh, so it was a joke then
    Muscles: yes
    with a moral
    Wigs: i fail to see the moral
    kindly enlighten me
    Muscles: the moral is just because everyone has to die one should not take pains to forward the event
    Wigs: i agree.
    Muscles: see it was so much better trying to make my point with a joke with a moral in it
    Wigs: yup! sure was
    Muscles: presentation is everything

    Muscles: let me tell u about a story of the NDA

    Wigs: i’m listening.

    Muscles: the new cadets were being trained in arms. so bullets were flying everywhere, and they were shit scared. so when the comander ordered them to charge ahead one of the realy scared one dint move; after repeated shouting by the comander he still dint move. so the comander took him aside and told him : “son,remember this: u are a soldier, and there is one bullet in the enemies gun with ur name written on it. the day that bullet is fired u will die

    Wigs: and . . .

    Muscles: yeah. “so he said so be brave and charge, because ur invincible till that bullet is fired.” and that concluded the training for the day. the next time the comander saw the cadet was in actual battle

    Wigs: dude you’re typing miserably slow today

    Muscles: yeah, i know. anyway, so in the battle field there was terrible automatic gun fire and bullets flying from all around and the comander yelled charge, and everyone started charging except the same guy and the commander totaly pissed shouted at him: “what the f***?! i told u about the bullet story. why are u still scared?” so the cadet said: “yeah i know all about that, but i think the ones flying around my ears have To whom ever it may concern written on them”

    ………..X……………………

    Wigs: okay, you just made that up. terribly lame.

    Muscles: what is the moral of the joke

    Wigs: oh, so it was a joke then

    Muscles: yes; with a moral

    Wigs: i fail to see the moral; kindly enlighten me

    Muscles: the moral is just because everyone has to die one should not take pains to forward the event

    Wigs: i agree.

    Muscles: see it was so much better trying to make my point with a joke with a moral in it

    Wigs: yup! sure was

    Muscles: presentation is everything

    What do you say?! Happy reading!
    Tagged , ,

    Another Diabolical Scheme


    We at wigs and muscles are outraged by the fact that we have so little fans on our FB fanpage. But yet again this has been our highest motivation to go on with this crap(seriously if we have 100 fans we would stop..honest..well not realy). So after a lot of analysis and thinking for a long time(3 sec) we could determine that the only thing holding back the horde of fans we have from making their presence felt is only one thing…Free Will

    So now that we know whats the problem we as good research people just decided to do away with it..and hence…..

     

    Look at this carefully for 20 seconds

    hypnowheel

     

    You are getting sleeeeepy

     

     

     

    hypnowheel

     

     

    sleeepy!

     

     

    hypnowheel

     

    you are In my power now( So we will ensure its for our fun ..not urs…for the skeptics)

    You will do as I command.

     

    hypnowheel

     

     

    Punch yourself in tha balls…no wait wait!..just cheking if you were in my power

     

    hypnowheel

     

    Now go to facebook! and search for wigsandmuscles or just click this..

     

     

    hypnowheel

     

    click on become a fan and wait till it says you are a fan.

     

     

     

    Now when I end the sentence you will return to normal(I mean back to being a ” Free willed” moron) and your IQ would have droped 20 points( for most of you it’ll be subzero now) .

    Tagged , ,

    Which facebook quiz are you?


    I’m sure you all take some quiz or the other up on facebook. There’re so many that help you figure out when you die, what your actual age is, which microorganism you are, and so on. It went to the point where you cannot mock it. Too complicated? I’ll explain. Let’s say you make fun of all these quizzes saying “Which mythical creature are you?” And then you open up facebook to find out that there actually is one by that name, and you go WTF?! Facebook 1, you 0.

    And as I pondered upon how this madness could be spreading so rife, I stumbled upon this (note, you need to sign up with facebook to access that application). If you aren’t already on facebook, trust me it isn’t worth venturing into. The this in the penultimate sentence refers to an application that lets you create your own quiz. So I thought I’ll give it my shot at it, and evenutally came up with this. You need to be on facebook to answer this quiz too (and this time, trust me again, it’s worth joining facebook to take this quiz).

    If you haven’t had the opportunity to take the quiz yet, take it now. And if you actually had it in you to read till this line, I’m happy. For I have made another <see image below> out of you. God bless the internet!

    noname

    P.S.: We at wigsandmuscles appreciate your constant following of our blog! We would be happier if you become a fan of our page on facebook. And oh, if you don’t like our blog here’s our message to you: “we will continue writing till you become a fan of our page.” Confused?! My objective is achieved. 🙂

    Tagged , ,

    The 3rd Person Perspective :Theory and Examples


    Welcome to another shitty post giving an insight into our way of thinking..(yes we do think ..Ripply´s Believe it or Not). And one of the favourites of our theories is the one which refers to a third person perspective: Basically meaning how you wud look at the shit happening in your life as if its happening to some random guy(something like the type in which ome friend tells u of something that hapened to his\ her friend which may be realy cruel but at the same time very funny because it dint happen to you.). Hope it is making sense…Anyways here are real life situations to make this point clear :

    Example 1) A guy whose laptop worked fine for 3 yrs  blows up when he is at a place where it would be shit expensive to repair it.More so it was a necessity.

    Example 2)A guy passed the VITEEE and actualy decided to go there.

    Example 3)A guy misses his interview for an application at NUS because they simply forgot to tell him he was shortlisted for it.

    Example 4) A guy at an aurtomated laundry getting confused between a washing machine and a tumble dryer ends up wasting an extra 1.5 euros.

    Example 5)Someone´s fucking gamble trying to get into PhD courses without any MS backup options din’t work.

    Example 6) The above someone’s friend trying the same gamble by not applying to a single MS backup option wondering what to do after graduation. I know, twice as funny, isn’t it?!

    Example 7) A guy buying a clock for €2 and then buying AA batteries that cost €3.27 for running it.

    Sad as they all might seem are funny if you dont know him..

    Example 8)Someone reading this post in search of  something meaning full..and realizing its crap after reading this line (not to mention the rest of this blog).

    Quoting Moe Szyslac, “I like creating disappointment. You know that little moment when people’s hope dies? I feed on that.” It works like a charm, doesn’t it?

    Now forward this to ten people, or one of the above incidents will happen to you within the next ten days. It worked with me. But wait, this isn’t an e-mail, so you cannot forward it, and hence shall be cursed with one or more of the above mentioned incidents. Muhahahahahaha!

    Tagged , ,