Tag Archives: weird

Some wood, please


Both muscles and I are hardcore fans of science. All forms of it: be it amateur, self-indulgent, experienced or even nasty. So while we applaud the noble nobel and watch in amazement at the Ig-Nobels, we do ponder at the efforts of several who startle us with their sheer genius. Take this for example, a comprehensive study on fellatio prolonging copulation time in fruit bats. Needless to say, I did not feel the excitation to read further, despite the free-full-text exposure made by both PLOS-One and PubMedCentral (you should try out their new Pubreader btw – its really good).

But something else aroused our curiosity today, and with dampened spirits, we got discussing about another article. It deals with the perception of male attractiveness by some women in Australia and the correlation to the size of  the penis. Yes, Penis. And this paper was in the PNAS, so don’t get confused between the two. So we had read the abstract, and it led to a rather long discussion. I now present on to you, the “full length” of it:

W: Oh and dude, I found an article which was fifty thousand times worse than the bat blowjob paper.

M: Really? What, bats in a devil’s three-way?

W: No, this one’s about a correation between penis size and male attractiveness. And here’s how did they did it: they simulated male manequins on computers using a 3d generation software, projected them on a wall, had women of various age groups rate the attractiveness, and then they correlated attractiveness to penis size.

M: So did they do a double blind?

W: No, but they published it here: http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2013/04/03/1219361110.

M: this got published in PNAS? 😮 They’re total d**ks. Oh wait… right!

M: Good by Japan… Hello Australia! (In line with our great appreciation of Japanese research to venture out into similar (what we feel) useless research)

W: Yes, there’s a stiff competition.

M: Yeah..and it gets harder every day! So  does the paper cum to a conclusion?

W: Yes, but sooner than later. Rather premature, I must admit!

W: Oh wait, they even have supplemental material.

M: So they were premature, even on supplements.

W: Yup, despite the supplements, I don’t think they penetrated deep enough into the subject.

M: Well I think they discussed it in length and must have wanted to put the whole thing behind. But putting it in PNAs is just blowing the whole thing out of proportion.

W: Now it seems more like they are soliciting the stuff to Canada. The author who came first in the paper has shifted across the globe.

M: Maybe he was looking for a better position. Or this wasnt really his thrust area.

W: I never thought P’NaS would get so desperate to put their stuff into any void space in research.

M: Yes this would probably help him to get on top of things now.

W: But looking at the paper, it seemed to me like the women were the ones on top.

M: That seems hard to swallow.

… and with that we ended our review of the links between Australian research, penis length (simulated) and their attractiveness to women.

P.S.: I recently upgraded to the google hangout experience on gmail. And it rather sucks when we need to copy conversations for recreational purposes such as this.

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SNACKS ON A PLANE


Air travel, statistically the safest and most boring way of travel. I don’t know whether it’s the recycled air or the fact that the the captain changes his mind  every minute whether it’s better to keep the seat belts on or off, but I have always preferred the trains to the planes. As a rule of thumb, the seat belt sign can be expected to be turned on right when your bladder thinks enough is enough. Or it could be the other way round and it could be almost like a Pavlovian response that whenever the seat belt sign is “on” you feel like you have to answer nature’s call. Anyway…I digress as usual. Today’s agenda in about airline food. Contrary to the popular opinion that airline food is bad (something which is similar to ” the mess food is always bad” condition), I quite enjoy it.

All that was about to change this time as I embarked on my most recent journey aboard a plane bound from Calcutta to New Delhi via Chennai via Bangalore (they do run them like private buses. I inquired at the airport once why does the board say the plane is going to Bangalore and not Delhi, the response to which reminded me of one of my Dad’s jokes that I have heard too many times to count. Thus I will not share it here to preserve whatever sanity that is left. Anyone interested to hear it can let me know ). It wasn’t the food as such. I must say that the Chicken Junglee Sandwich was quite worth the 190 buks I spent on it  (there IndiGo, here’s your precious costumer feedback! Now stop sending me those darn emails). Usually I concentrate on food and not on its packaging.  But this time, as I was already a scholar of the in flight menu and knew the in flight magazine by heart, I began to observe the packing of the sandwich ( I must mention here that I did eat the sandwich and washed it down with an Ice tea way before I found the packing interesting. I finished it before Samuel MF Jackson could say  ” I’ve had it with these motherf**** snacks on this motherf*** plane ! (-adapted from the epic movie Snakes on a Plane)).

It is then that I realized that what I had just eaten was not the Chicken Junglee Sandwich at all. No..it was something completely different..never could I have imagined that what I had just filled my stomach with was not a sandwich…it was instead an AIRWICH !!! Now just when I had thought all of reality was crumbling around me and I was about to be sucked into an alternate dimension or ,as the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons would put it, Bizaro World, it was the package that saved me. On the side of the panel was a narrative, which oddly enough seemed to be inspired from a amalgamation of several Bollywood story lines involving twins separated in childhood in the Kumbh mela (Kumbh mela is a the auspicious festival of bathing in the river Ganga that occurs every 4 years in the city of Allahabad , much like the Olympics or the cricket world cup, just not that entertaining. For those who are wondering when the Olympics or the cricket world cup was held in Allahabad, please stop reading this blog from now. Our job here is done).

Well continuing with the story, which was written in Hindi in the Devanagari script (a cheap way to irritate South Indians and North Indians alike). The story spoke of (and I shit you not, I have the box still and can send a scanned copy to those of little faith) two brothers the Airwich and the Sandwich that were separated from each other in the Kumbh mela. Airwich was adopted by a pilot and became a pilot while the Sandwich was abducted by bandits and taken to the famous desert of Chambal and hence turned to a life of crime. One day while Airwich was flying over the sand of Chambal, he saw the Sandwich and instantly realized it was his lost brother.He dropped a letter for him and the Sandwich wrote his reply in the sand for the Airwich to see. Though both wanted to meet each other they could not due to the fact that the Sandwich was on the ground and the Airwich was always in the sky. But though they never met it is said that the messages can still be seen in the sands of Chambal. <story ends>. Now I don’t know what to make of this..either someone got really drunk and thought of this and someone got even more drunk and approved of it or someone should make a movie on it and see what happens to it (well everyone thought Snakes on a plane would turn out bad but did it?…..NO IT DID NOT!). But that was just one side of the packing. While I was still recovering from this heart warming/irritating/ slightly spooky(?) story I saw that the other sides and flap of the packing also had somethings on it. (Such powers of observation are usually not something I am known for. I am usually a ignorant and hence blissful idiot.) On one of the side there was a section entitled (again in hindi) ” Dimagi Kasrat” or Mental exercise. A more fitting name would be mental torture ( I must say some of the   riddles did border on things not really approved by the human rights charter.. exibit A :multiply 3454545 x 355899545 without a calculator). And finally when I thought the worst is over I see a small song on the flap of the cover (which I don’t think there is any sense in translating here).

The only thing I learnt from this was to just get an Ice tea next time and carry my own parathas.

<abrupt end?>

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Why have people stopped having human flues?


Its official. The major threat to the human race this year is the  swine flu ,and pigs fly. It seems mass hysteria over flus is the latest trend and since bird flu is as dead as a dodo there is a new one for us to fear. What is more of a pain than the flu itself is the thought that the Indian government is doing more than usual to screen people from Europe for the virus(which is sucky news for people coming home soon).

But there is no escaping it. The hysteria is real (even if the threat is not). And in the industry of biology one is more affected by such news(for eg . Recently we were gifted with a primer for the swine flu virus by mistake instead of the primer we ordered for. Before I could convince my boss how i could use that to “diversify” my “research” I was told that it had already been returned.Soon enough we got the right primer(read:boring) for our gene.)

 At times like these I am reminded of Darwin and his theory of evolution(a theory he formulated on a trip to the gallapagos islands.Years later I formulated the same theory independently after a bottle of MGM Vodka).Actualy most things remind me of evolution(its an OCD now i think).So one should stop to think if this an omen. Maybe humans are progressing towards becoming a pig like species.The recent “outbreak” of the dreaded swine flu is but the last straw which broke the proverbial camel’s back..more suttle hints were already evident:

1)Sankalp’s room can put any pig pen to shame.

2)Most of the “honorable” members of my No 1 university have close physical resemblance to pigs..whats more close is their thought process.

3)The apes in the movie “Planet of the Apes ” looked a lot like pigs..(atleast to me)

4)Odd grunting sounds made by my brother while finishing a tub of chocolate ice cream

Atleast these are good indicators that might hint on why the virus found it so easy to cross over..other theories are welcome too

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Cooking up trouble again! : recipes from Mom


Many people who know me believe that I suck at cooking.That can’t be farther from the truth. The fact is I din’t know any cooking to suck at it in the first place. For a lot of time I was content with the fine art of finger cooking(the method in which u use a device called a telephon and your fingers) and also was quiet blessed to have a good cook for a room mate/house mate( good is an arbitrary word used to describe anyone who can cook food that is barely edible to something that realy tastes great).So since the need never presented itself I never realy cared.

But yesterday I had this great urge to cook which now that I analyze could be because of two reasons:

  1. All my ready- to- eat (a gift sent from god to save all mankind in the absence of womankind) were over with.
  2. I thought this might make for an interesting blog if I do manage to cook something edible( anything that after eating I can still live to blog about) and even more interesting if it gets screwed up.

So I called up my Mom (that’s my other Mom) at 11:00 pm in the night (thats German time,2:30 IST) to ask how to make French toast (made sense not to be over adventures on the first transition from finger cooking).

Wig: Why you little!? Wait till I make a German toast of you!

So with this great knowledge I embarked on my Quest and I also give you a guided tour of  it as the STAGES OF THE EGG from the fridge to to plate.

Step 1) Make the necessary arrangement: Get your ass of the bed. Find out where the oil is.Figure out the difference between salt and finely powdered sugar(or you would get your just desserts)

Step 2)Put the oil on a pan and heat it.Be ready to jump out of the way of flying oil.It can sense the inexperience in your breath i think.

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Step 3)Follow the following instructions:

toast

Step 4) Fry the french toast to be.(In case it doesnt, try to turn on the stove/heater)

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Step 5) Eat your creation. 🙂

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And hey since I live to tell about it even while cooking and taking pics at the same time I think il be more adventures now..so watch this space..

Wig: Unfortunate that I don’t have a working camera in hand. Had I, you’d have been able to see better creations. 😀

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Vigilant Vacationing: Why Prague rocks more than Paris


Time is short they say. And i say the time classified as holidays is more short. So it takes no brainiac to understand that we have to choose our vacation choices wisely and not be fooled into visiting any random place just because it may be called the most romantic city,etc.
So under great threat from my co administrator(A Paris lover: The guy just broke his laptop connector plug. Hope that helps this stay up longer.) i present to you hard evidence oh why Prague is such a rocking place(i could have added “and Paris isn’t ” but that just cant be done with the power sharing setup on this blog 🙂 )
And yes I will put them in points for the benefit of some of our mentaly impaired friends ,specially for those who became so after reading our other blogs.

Reason number 1

The cool people(me) go to Prague.

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Reason number 2

The lame people go to Paris..no wait ,that’s already implied before.Ok let’s say this…
Prague has the greatest view at night from the Charles Bridge.Now folks ,I havn’t realy bin to Paris (cause that wud make me lame) but yes I do have some friends who have also bin to Paris and Prague.Even they think the View from the bridge is the best in Europe.

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Reason number 3

Every building is a monument in itself. I could post pics here too but that wud be stupid. They were everywhere. After sometime I understood that I shud enjoy the place than to just keep clicking pics.Thankfully my other friends din’t realise this so we still ended up with 200 pics.

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Reason number 4

Im sure a lot of u guys may think …oh sure Prague looks cool but Paris has the Eiffel tower. Well there is a tower in Prague too called the Katherine tower which is on top of a hill and it has a unique advantage over the Eiffel tower- you get a great view of the whole of Prague from up there unlike the case of Eiffel tower from which u can’t get a view of Prague at all(unless u have a map of Prague while ur on top of the Eiffel tower )

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Yeah also there is a mirror maze next to the tower which is awesome fun

p1050295 Warning: Objects in the mirror may be stupider than they appear.

Reason 5

Lots of weird shit
Alien babies:great fun for pedophiles and non pedophiles alike

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Some more weird shit
dsc052211p1050213 A very public toilet
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And yes the weirdest of all : A beer for 7 euros

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